Givin' On Up

 "I'm giving up giving anything up for Lent."
- Every dad. Every Lent.

Each year, millions of people observe 40 days and 40 nights of Lent, sacrificing something they love as a form of penance before Easter. For those who aren't familiar with the 40 days and 40 nights of sacrifice, just watch that Josh Hartnett movie, Lucky Number Slevin.

As a kid, you know Lent as the time your church forces you to give up candy. You try to get by with the thinking that instead of passively giving something up for Lent this year, you will actively do some good - be nice to your sister every day or do your chores on time. Approximately 36 hours into that Lenten promise, you're back to giving up candy, but ummm...only chocolate.

"Let me sin, I'm starving!"

As an adult, Lent is an afterthought. You're too focused on the pre-party, Mardi Gras (known to some as Fat Tuesday - or to me as Tuesday). This is a day to gorge yourself before the season of sacrifice. Amongst the hazy barrage of beads, alcohol, and food, you begin to look and feel like the Gluttony victim in Se7en. Before you know it, you're a week into Lent and you haven't given anything up yet. You're trying to rack your brain to figure out what vice you HAVEN'T used for the past week so that you can post-date this God promise.

This tractor is giving up being awesome for Lent. And it's proving to be difficult.

You're probably wondering what I'm giving up as Lent starts today. Let's first go through the list of what I'm NOT giving up and why:
  • Beer - Without it, I have no social life.
  • Candy - Too vital a part of my diet to keep this figure. 
  • Video Games - Please.
  • Twitter - I require real time Lindsay updates.
  • Fried Foods - If Lent is a religious observance, why would I break a Texas commandment?
  • Cardigans - They make my amorphous body look passable.

What really is left in my life to give up? I have no idea. I give up. But I don't give up giving up. I just plain quit Lent.

EDIT: I give up giving up Lent. Also, chocolates.

Yours in glutton,


  1. perhaps you can give up blogging

  2. Is this your way of telling us you are a baby daddy?


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