Ghosts of Bearded Past

Beard contests. They're great in theory.

In reality, they're itchy. Really itchy. And they risk divorce. Itchy divorce. Every girl thinks they love a beard (or stubble). That is, until they actually kiss that guy and scratch their face with his toothbrush jawline.

My agency is currently voting on their 5th Annual Beard and Moustache Competition.  Click this link to check out the different categories and entries this year. Being the sentimentalist that I am, I thought it would be the perfect time to reflect upon my Ghosts of Bearded Past.

Take my hand. And come with me on this journey.

I had just joined my agency. I was a month late into the contest. Lucky for me, my neck beard knows no bounds. Add in a black and white fat Chris, and you've got yourself a cry for help.

Beardigan™: The Face Cardigan
This picture won me the Lumberjack Award. This beard won me a restraining order from public pools.

For 2012, I paid homage to one of my Creative Directors. He loves to run races, wear cardigans, and be bald. He also happens to be one of my beard heroes. The head shave was a tough move because I'm at the age where I wasn't sure if the hair would grow back. It did. Kind of. More importantly, it made my intended doppelgänger laugh.

The Throat Coat
It was an all-natural infinity scarf. You know how in interviews, they tell you to spin your negatives into positives (e.g. - I'm a perfectionist)? That's the direction I went this year. I figured since my beard grows patchy and in weird places, I'd accentuate those weird places. And that's how you get "The Throat Coat".

Some may look at this process as an unraveling of sanity throughout the years. Some may look at it as a journey into manhood, finding one's inner man. I agree with both. I am now a man. But I've been embraced by the open welcoming arms of facial hair insanity.

Help me,