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Showing posts from March, 2013

Quiet! I'm Getting Old

Raise your glass. And pour one out. For my youth. You will be missed, young friend.


I go to a lot of concerts. And live music is loud. Like really loud. No matter how "cool" you are, you're up the next morning with your ears ringing. Or worse, with "Whip My Hair" audibly seared onto your brain.

Recently, I made a purchase that officially put the nail in the coffin of my adolescence (last death metaphor I swear - cross my heart and hope to die lolhahaajkjkahaloljk).

I ordered ear plugs. Are they cool? Probably not. But neither were Furbies (plural? Furbi?) and people loved those things.


I've used the ear plugs a few times at indoor shows. If anything, they isolate the music, making it sound better by blocking out unnecessary noise. I bought mine from Ear Peace. The plugs match the color of my skin as closely as possible to remain virtually undetectable - unfortunately for me, Ear Peace doesn't carry the color "Powder - The Movie". But boy, do t…

Baby's First Seder

Late Monday afternoon, a very good friend of mine invited me to her Passover Seder. She's Jewish. I'm not. But I wanted to support her and to gain an understanding on just what exactly the Passover Holiday entailed.

As I entered her 5th floor NYC apartment out of breath in stride, I noticed a severe lack of lamb's blood on the door.

Strike One.

Welcoming me into the apartment was the delectable smell of the cooked food. First things first, I was served wine and told that the typical Seder requires "4 Cups" of wine to be consumed. I immediately started Googling synagogues for conversion inquiries.

Strike One Redacted.

The three attendees + Elijah gathered around the table. The poor man's Seder plate was already laid out.
Instead of a lamb shank bone, we had a slice of deli turkey meat. Passes my test.

As we dipped our parsley into the salt water (representing the tears shed by the Jewish ancestors), I felt a wave of 'togetherness' that we were taking p…