Road Trip Games

Over the recent holiday break, my girlfriend and I set out on a road trip from Nashville to Kansas City to visit her family. The 9 hour drive took us through 5 states - Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, and Kansas - and a 40 degree drop in temperature.

While 9 hours isn't that long, it's long enough to need a good copilot. Lucky for me, mine happened to be the same girl who is my copilot in life, navigating the roads of love, straight to the destination of my heart my girlfriend.

Unfortunately, she was asleep for 75% of the drive.

Had she been awake, our games might have gone a little like this...

Me:  I spy with my little eye...a terrible driver next to me.
My gf:  I spy with my little eye...four wrappers from fast food hamburgers you just devoured.
Me:  I spy with my little eye...a road. This game is horrible.
My gf:  I spy with my little eye...someone in the doghouse.

Rank Your Favorite Game of Thrones Characters 
in descending order
1)                    Tyrion
2)                    Daenerys
3)                    The Hound
4)                    George R. R. Martin's hat collection
5)                    Greywind
6)                    Jon Snow's beard
7)                    Robb Stark's accent
1,203)             Melisandre
432,302,102)  Joffrey

Be a Dad
  • Every time you pass a farm, yell, "HAY!" Every time.
  • Make the entire car listen to a Bill O'Reilly audiobook.
  • Don't allow anyone to use the inside car light when it's dark outside. Or else you will immediately crash.
  • Stop at a diner. And repeat the waitress' name to her after she introduces herself. 
  • Despite having a personal GPS device as a phone, see how far you can go without using a map.
  • Never EVER no matter what stop for a break. God forbid you tack on a 5 minute bathroom break to a 10 hour drive.

Take Firm Political Stances
When there's a stretch of road accompanied by silence, exclaim, "More like global boring!" Then laugh and laugh and laugh. Do it again in an hour.

Screw, Marry, Kill 
Smurfs edition - Smurffette, Papa Smurf, Gargamel
Harry Potter edition- Bellatrix, Hermione, Umbridge
Mascot edition - Belle "The Ballpark Diva", Otto the Orange, The Mad Ant
(Tough to choose between Belle and Helping Hand...)

These games are fool proof. And you would be a fool not to use them. But you could still do them. Because that's the definition of fool proof.

So have fun on your next road trip. Play some games. Eat junk food. Be safe.