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Showing posts from April, 2014

Furry Fandom: Spike

It's been a while since my last Furry Fandom post. But all that time I was just waiting for the perfect candidate to disrupt my life and rob my brain of its sanity. And here we are. Thanks to a tip from a buddy, I've caught a mascot red handed (or red pawed? I dunno it's been a while since I've written about mascots.)

This culprit is responsible for stealing my sanity, eating it up, and soft serving it on my mind's yard for me to dream-step in it.

Round Rock Express

His name is Spike.

He's the Round Rock Express minor league baseball team mascot.

After reading more about him, my brain simply can't comprehend how he got the job. So I'm here to expose why the Express should have stamped his résumé with "Do Not Hire."

Exhibit A - Lack of Job Loyalty

His bio page lists him as 13 years old which in dog years is WAY past retirement age. So why is he still working?

A quick read over his bio page unveils that he arrived in Round Rock by simply jump…

Gonna Be A Bumpy Ride

I hate flying.

Well, I actually just hate being in the air.

Leading up to a flight, I don't get nervous. I don't choose to drive cross-country instead of taking a plane. I don't get queasy when I'm sitting at the gate and they start boarding.

It's the in-air turbulence that makes me curl up into a ball, triple check that my boarding pass doesn't say "Oceanic Airlines", and rock back and forth humming "Three Little Birds."

Part of it may be related to my fear of heights which I've self diagnosed as more of a distrust of the structural integrity of things. I was a Psych minor in college so I'd say the diagnosis is about as accurate as you can get. Don't tell me that the skyscraper swaying in the wind actually helps make the building more sound. Don't tell me that the Ferris wheel cars never unhinge and fling towards the heavens. Don't tell me that what feels like crazy turbulence in a plane is actually just a few inches of …

Madness in North Texas

Ever since I was conscious of sports and my inability to play them, I’ve been a pretty typical sports fan. I like sports. A lot. And every typical sports fan has a typical sports bucket list. Attending the Final Four is on that list. This past weekend, I was able to check it off mine.
Knowing I would be in Dallas the week before the Final Four, my buddy asked me if I’d like to have his extra ticket to the Saturday games. After I facedown Tigger bounced around my apartment for 5 minutes, I told him, ‘YES’. 

We took a car/train/bus combo ride to Arlington (or as Charles Barkley calls it "North Dallas"), making a stop at the sponsored pre-game tailgate. We were able to continue the drinking that we started on the train…for $9 a beer. To make matters more inconvenient, it started pouring rain. We quickly emptied our savings accounts for multiple rounds of beers and found shelter under a tent. As we huddled together under cover, sipping beer and avoiding rain, I couldn’t help bu…