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Showing posts from September, 2018

Shut up and take my money.

I’ll remove some of the suspense up front (classic Chris storytelling) by letting you know that this event happened a few years ago. I jotted notes down and the dialogue exchange almost immediately so I could file the police report, however I never formulated what you see here until now. Originally, I wasn’t going to share it, but as we all know,  I must deliver #content to the #masses to become an #influencer. So here’s the post, Mr. or Mrs. Brand Manager With an Overwhelming Budget.

Full-court depressed.

The setting, a rec gym at 6 a.m. The game, basketball. The stakes, laughably low.

An ankle-breaking crossover is not how it happened. No, I broke my ankle because I fell on it funny. So funny lol! Much less embarrassing.

I felt a pop. I fell to the ground. I immediately took off my shoe and sock because I knew doing it later would yield blinding pain. So smart. Almost as smart as jumping to pass – please don't tell my high school coach or my father – and twisting in a way that makes you fall funny — so so funny lolol! — and feel a pop.

It's a non-displaced fracture, meaning it's more of a crack than a separation. Thankfully. Four weeks on crutches lead to four weeks in a walking boot lead to four weeks with an ankle brace. That's about three months to eulogize my basketball career.
We gather here today to mourn the loss of one mediocre, middling basketball career. It lasted, some rec-league refs say, too long. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, stop playing basketball you …