Lukewarm Take: Libraries Are Good.


That's how many books you're allowed to check out at my local public library at the same time. That is, if they have that many books on shelves. Their book limit policy is literally unlimited. So whether it's 5,302,101 or 5 doesn't matter — you can keep checking out books.

"Unlimited!" I scream atop my desk at work as my coworkers evacuate the building.

It does beg the question about what would happen if I checked every single book out at a particular branch. The ultimate troll on the establishment. City chaos. Literary mania. Which leads me to my pitch for the upcoming Todd Phillips joint Joker 2: Loaner. Just kidding. Joker 2 will probably be a scathing symbolic rant about the one true joker: America!!!

"Epically twisted bacon FTW", raves modern ad agency copywriter with Deadpool sticker on car

Back to the library, an establishment I would never, could never troll. The public library is one of the few government institutions that is undeniably good. Even if there was lobbying for Big Book, the end result would be a, uh, more literate country? Sounds good!

Public libraries are tech savvy now, too. The Dewey Decimal System is alive and well for all you Dewey Heads out there, but for the uninitiated, you can skip it altogether. The library reservation system is extremely online. Libraries have evolved.

tfw you hear libraries have evolved

Some would say the best part about the library has nothing to do with books. Here's a list of non-books things my local library lends:
- The latest NBA2k on PS4
- Season 3 of Billions (for free...irony!)
- A WiFi hotspot
- A tree limb pole saw (no kidding)
- A ukelele (I wish I was kidding)
- A long bed pickup truck to help you move in exchange for pizza (This time I AM kidding. Even the library draws the line somewhere. Rent a U-Haul. You're an adult.)

One of my previous libraries in another city had a seed exchange program. Your public library likely has something you don't expect. And it's all free.

Thank your god or God or the cosmic turtle (I read about this in a Stephen King book I got from the library once) for the library. And go there. You may be surprised by what you find.