Lukewarm Take: Mondays Aren't That Bad

Every office has one — a miserable subset of people who love company (just not the company they work for). They have bumper stickers and mugs pleading: please do not talk to them until they've had their coffee.

These insufferable many are the Monday haters.

For those of you weekday pacifists who haven't gone to the dark side of weekend warriorism, I present here a case for Monday. I bravely put forth that Monday, hereto henceforth, is not that bad.

A powerful influencer.

Let's start here, with an oft-shared sentiment from recruiters on LinkedIn: when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.

What a crock.

Okay, not a strong start to defending Monday, but stick with me. Let's break it down.

A case of the Mondays
- Gimme the nectar of beans!
- Only the first of five consecutive work days.
- New music no longer released the next day.

A case for the Mondays.
- Gimme the nectar of beans!
- The first of only five consecutive work days.
- The water cooler no longer exists meaning we must no longer bite our lips as coworkers ask if you saw last night's The Walking Dead. (Evergreen response: It was bad!)

I love what I do for a living and I'd still much rather be hanging out with my son or playing video games or both having and eating my cake and absolutely shredding my guy in Mario Kart.

Finishing Rainbow Road is when you become an adult.

Does that mean I hate Mondays? Not at all! I still like going to work even though I'd rather be doing countless other things. Plus, writing copy isn't a bad way to make a living.

What I ask of you, is to ask yourself, what we should all ask ourselves. How can Monday be the worst when there are clearly worse days? 

The Definitive Ranking of the Days of the Week: 

  1. Saturday - Unimpeachable.
  2. Friday - Preach, Rebecca Black. Preach.
  3. Thursday - Friday Eve, a sense of giddiness approaches.
  4. Monday - The day in question.
  5. Wednesday - Purgatory
  6. Tuesday - Purgatory Eve
  7. Sunday - A day of rest and existential dread.

And on the 7th day, God rested and dreaded going to work the next day.

If I've got a case of anything, it's a case of the Sundays (relevant: I'm a Cowboys fan). And a case of the Tuesdays. Don't even get me started on Wednesdays.

Monday is clearly smack dab in the middle of the week's days. It exists as a clear line of demarcation between good and bad, purity and evil. Monday is, if anything, a neutral day. It's neither good nor bad. It's fine. I rest my case.