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Furry Fandom: Belle 'The Ballpark Diva'

When it comes to mascots, the Buffalo Bisons have an embarrassment of riches. They have three official furry fan favorites. THREE.

The first is Buster T. Bison, the team's namesake. He is a big bison.



The second is his cousin, Chip. He's another big bison, albeit a sadder one. Makes sense.



The third mascot turns my brain inside out and whispers sweet nothings of dementia into my ears.

Belle "The Ballpark Diva"
Buffalo Bisons
(I thought the plural of "Bison" was "Beeson"?)


From her bio:
Belle, "The Ballpark Diva" is the singing-sensation from Hollywood that has returned to Dunn Tire Park to perform all her smash hits for the fans of the Buffalo Bisons. Known for her fashion sense and sweet dance moves, Belle is 100% girl.
Let's break this down.

She is a cow. OK.Named Belle. I'm with you.She's a singing-sensation from Hollywood. My sanity is wobbling.She left her life of fame, returning to Buffalo, NY. You have completely lost me.Kn…

Furry Fandom: Trash Monster

Trash Monster
Portland Sea Dogs


The Portland Sea Dogs have two mascots.

Their priority mascot is "Slugger the Sea Dog". He's a seal. He seems like the perfect family friendly mascot. His favorite song is "Who Let The Dogs Out?" and his favorite dance is "YMCA". The guy is a people pleaser.

If the minds behind the Portland Sea Dogs' mascots were operating off a zero sum creativity pie, Slugger received 100% of the thinking. What's left for the secondary mascot is a mutant garbage can concepted from the leftover fat of an Oscar the Grouch idea.

Meet "Trash Monster".
He's a 5' 5" garbage receptacle. I can't seem to find an origin story on him so if you'll allow me to speculate...
Approximately one hundred years ago, a Portland native disposed of an old piece of cheese into an aluminum garbage can. Through an isolated process of evolution, the old piece of cheese molded further, sprouting some interesting appendages: …

Furry Fandom: Otto the Orange

Otto the Orange
Syracuse Orangemen
This one hits close to home. Kind of. I grew up a Syracuse fan. The fandom was passed on to me by my parents. I was a fan through the McNabb era and a fan when Gerry and Melo finally helped Boeheim win in 2003.

But I didn't attend Syracuse. So while I still pull for them, it's hard for me to associate myself with their teams. One thing stayed constant though: my brain being insanity pretzeled by Otto the Orange.

That giant ball of orange confused me as a kid and confuses me even more now. Look at him. His nose is the most bulbous thing I've seen until I take into account his body as a whole. SOMEONE GET HIM P90X. Poor Otto has probably never been able to refer to his frame as a 'beach body'.

Otto is also fighting an uphill battle with his ear shoulders. When he's trying to pump up the crowd, miming "Let me hear you!", where does he cup his hand? And then how does he hear you?

The most confusing thing to me is that wh…

Furry Fandom: Cosmo

Cosmo Las Vegas 51's
Baseball is considered America's pastime. America. Land of the free. Home of the brave.

I ask you: What is the biggest threat to America's freedom and braverydomness?
Terrorists?
Depletion of resources?
High glucose corn syrup?
Khloe and Lam Lam?

No. None of the above. The biggest threat to America is aliens.

The Las Vegas Area 51's have found the perfect intimidation tool: Cosmo. From his website:
Cosmo, a fan favorite of all ages, returns to Earth for his ninth season as the Mascot for the Las Vegas 51s (2001- present). Cosmo is a survivor of a spaceship crash who spent time at "Area 51" and was a baseball phenom on his home planet of Koufaxia.  There are so many questions. Does this mean he only comes down to Earth for a minor league baseball season every year? How did he fix his spaceship? Does he require Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones impersonators to be his bat boys? Why is he so selfish with his technology? Does he constantly need s…

Furry Fandom: Biscuits, Mad Ants, & Hilltoppers

Nothing beats the experience of actually being at a sporting event. The fans. The hot dogs. The wave. And of course, the mascots. Players, coaches, and even ownership can change, but your team's mascot is the identity of the franchise.

I am fascinated by mascots. And I am fascinated by the branding of mascots, especially when they make absolutely no sense.

This is the first installment of "Furry Fandom". Each week, I'll post another mascot that has forced my brain to short circuit. To kick it off, I've chosen three of my favorites.


Monty Biscuit & Big Mo
Montgomery Biscuits
The story of Monty Biscuit is a sad, confusing, and seemingly savory one. The Montgomery Biscuits, a Tampa Bay Ray's AA affiliate, have two mascots. One is the above Ron Swanson dream of a buttermilk biscuit with butter for a tongue. The other is an overweight and orange anteater-ish "animal" named Big Mo.

Monty is featured on all of the team hats, jerseys, and logos. Big Mo i…